Deepening Our Compassion
“Compassion is the willingness to be in the space of suffering and bring your love to it. You feel someone else’s wound, your wound, the world’s wound and just wash it with love.” -Barbara De Angelis
Listening to my clients with compassion is the foundation of my work, but there are times when I struggle to access it. At these times, I am usually frustrated by the lack of movement or depth in a session. Over the years, I have come to know that my frustration is a signal alerting me to breathe, pause and ask myself, “What is needed in this moment?” The answer most often is to be present, listen more deeply and let go of any agenda that I may have.
Yes, I can admit there are times when I have made an error in judgement. To err is human, to judge is human. Extending compassion is also human, it is one of the greatest gifts we can offer ourselves and each other.
Cultivating compassion requires awareness, practice, and heart. It may be easier to feel compassion toward those who are more vulnerable, a child, an elderly person, or a pet. Expressing compassion can be more challenging when the person suffering is someone we do not like or when it is something we do not like about ourselves.
Several months ago, I had a profound lesson in compassion. My lesson came during a cacao ceremony, the Mesoamerican ritual that involves drinking cacao, the source of chocolate, for spiritual and emotional healing. A shaman or spiritual guide leads a ceremony and creates a sacred space for participants to enter a deep meditative state and experience the heart-opening effects of the medicinal plant.
The ceremony was outdoors on a chilly fall evening. I bundled up in my soft down jacket and covered myself in blankets. Each participant poured loving intentions into their cup of “Mother Cacao,” affectionately named for her gentle, nurturing qualities. I mindfully drank the thick, warm, bittersweet liquid, and I lay down under the dark sky. After an hour or so of quiet introspection, I was pleasantly surprised by a vision of the multi-armed Hindu goddess of prosperity, Lakshmi. She enveloped me in an all-encompassing loving embrace. I felt blessed by her beautiful presence.
As Lakshmi slowly faded into the background, Archangel Michael appeared. Clothed in golden regalia, he stood with his sword in hand, a brilliant light shone from his heart. I wondered why he was here. When my next visitor arrived, I quickly understood that Archangel Michael was here to protect me. To my shock, the vision before me was of Charles Manson!
With a swastika tattooed between his brows, Manson’s dark, sinister eyes penetrated my soul and sent chills down my spine. I let the wave of fear move through me and became curious as to why he was now here.
I quickly understood that his presence was a symbol of my deepest fear: annihilation. I knew I had to face my fear. As I stayed in his gaze, I had an overwhelming sense of the abuse that Manson had endured throughout his childhood and beyond this life. He no longer felt like a monster; he was a deeply wounded human being who was responsible for unthinkable acts. Aware of his festering pain, I opened my arms and said, “Charlie, you need a hug.” As I embraced him, I embraced my deepest fear.
The heinous crimes against humanity are the result of the heinous crimes against humanity. As the proverb says, “An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.” For how long will we repeat this vicious cycle? Yes, there must be justice and consequences for wrongful acts, but this must also include repair and healing of the underlying wounds that propel these actions.
Whether we are aware of them or not, we all have invisible psychic wounds and the beliefs that arise from these wounds, such as, “I am not enough,” “I do not matter” or “I am unlovable.” They are all a form of original sin, which is, the belief that we are unworthy.
As I witness the blatant disregard for human dignity and life in our world, I feel more compelled than ever to practice compassion. It has been in the forefront of my heart and mind. We must stop the cycle of violence and degradation that we inflict upon each other. Instead, we must look in our hearts, tend to our own pain with compassion.
We must shift the question from “What is wrong with them?” or “What is wrong with me?” to “What happened to them?” or “What happened to me?” so that we may understand the roots of our suffering and meet them with love.
Join me on Saturday, June 7 for an experiential workshop, where we will explore the differences between pity, sorrow, judgement, and compassion in our bodies, through touch, movement, and talk. The discoveries we make will help us listen to ourselves and each other in compassion, and hold the parts of ourselves that we do not like or struggle to accept with love and care. Learn more and REGISTER HERE.